The Mother of all Realizations
Actually, this would be the Grandmother of all realizations.
Cuz, guess what?
We’re having a grandbaby!!!!
Ohemgee!!! And it’s a girl!!! SOOO EXCITING! But that’s not the realization I’m talking about. This is a big one, y’all. Are you ready? Here goes.
Recently, Katie and I got together for coffee with my folks. We’re talking about pregnancies and babies, naturally. So my mom tells us the story of when her great-nephew was a baby and they were visiting the new little family. This little guy was fussing, as babies often do, and as mothers often do, my mom wanted to take a turn trying to soothe him. Well, the thing that worked for her baby (me) was to lay the little one down on her lap face-down, head at her knees. As you can see in the pics, your lap sort of “cradles” the infant and probably provides a little gastro-intestinal relief, if that’s the problem (and for me, I’m sure it was!).
This was THE position to calm the baby. That’s me with my dad and my Granny (his mum). I’m 100% sure it was gas!
The thing was that this position, and the gentle rubbing of the baby’s back, didn’t work this time. Hmmm. Then my mom told us this was the moment she realized that not one thing works for all babies! It was this huge revelation. You mean, they’re all different?!?! Say whaaaat??? We all laughed and laughed because it’s so true. You’re tellin’ me that not all babies are the same?!?! Yeah, that’s what I’m tellin’ ya. Who knew?
So what did we learn today?
(Besides the fact that I’m uber excited to be a Mimi.) Shocking, I know, but each of us is unique, different, special. From pregnancy symptoms to parenting methods, no two of us are alike. That’s what makes the world go ’round. It takes all kinds.
Whether you’re the au naturel, germs-are-our-friends, only second-hand clothes for my wee one mom; a career track, ultra-organized, with a special place in your heart for your nanny mom; the makin’ ends meet, whatever works, as long as we enjoy bath time every night mom; a volunteering every chance you get, team snack making, adventurous in the kitchen mom; a colorful artsy-fartsy, let the kids explore their worlds, what’s a schedule? mom; anything in between or your own combination thereof, then…
Great! Do that. Be her.
You are exactly the mom your little one needs. And that baby is exactly the one you need. There are no accidents here. However you came to be together, trust yourself and trust each other. Rachel Hollis tells us in her book, Girl, Wash Your Face, “A new mother’s daily list of goals should boil down to [these:]”
Take care of the baby.
Take care of yourself.
This applies to kids at any age or stage. You are doing exactly what you need to be doing, exactly the way you need to be doing it. Keep doin’ your thang!
My wish for all of us is this. Please, can we just appreciate the fact that each of us experiences this differently? By “this”, I mean pregnancy, birth, motherhood, and life in general. And by “differently”, I mean individually, singularly diverse, but not better or worse.
Can we have a little solidarity? Of course, there are the few exceptions, extenuating circumstances, but the thing we have in common is that we love our littles and we want to do right by them. There are as many ways to do this as there are mothers in the world. Let’s each of us do our best. Love and learn from one another. Mothers, daughters, grandmothers, granddaughters, and if you’re lucky enough, great-grandmothers and great-granddaughters.
Let mamas be mamas.
Here’s a gentle reminder FREEBIE! Print and cut to 8x10” and stick it where you’ll see it.
Me? I happen to be the birthday party planning, figuring this out as I go, hugs and kisses all over my babies, attempting to save the earth without going nuts, bit of a germaphobe, and trying to stay sober every day kind of mom. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much. What kinda mom are you?